Where I Belong

In case you missed the memo, on January 24th I boarded a plane in Lima, Peru at 1:30 in the morning, walking through security waving goodbye to my supervisors and another friend who had been sweet enough to accompany me to the airport in the middle of the night. Two flights, and twelve hours later I walked off the plane in Daytona Beach, FL and out through security to a surprise welcoming committee of family and friends waving hello. It's been more than a week and in many ways I feel like I'm still in transit, stuck somewhere between Peru and the US. 

Physical life in the States is gradually starting to feel less awkward (It no longer takes me 6 tries to figure out how to flip a light switch, and my stomach is handling American food better.) but being back here still feels a little like, to use a family expression from a colleague in Peru, socks on a rooster. It doesn't quite fit right, and is a bit unnatural. Feeling out of place is a hard thing to process when so much is the same as when you left it. It's difficult to explain to yourself, and next to impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it themselves. This leads to a lot of really awkward conversations where someone asks the question that everyone asks: "How does it feel to be home?" -or- "Are you excited to be back?" Apparently a blank stare and muttering isn't a sufficient answer for most people!  

Having returned from living overseas twice before, I knew what questions to expect. "How was Peru?" "What was your favorite thing about Peru?" "What do you miss most?" "How was the food?" "What was Peru like?" "Did you like it?" "So you must speak really good spanish now?" "Did you get homesick?" "What was the coolest thing you saw?" "Do you have any Peruvian friends?"  "What are you most excited about now that you're home?" and the most dreaded of all... "What are you going to do now?" "Do you have any plans?" 

My last weeks in Peru I even tried to sit down and prepare succinct answers to all of the typical questions so that I would be able to answer easily. But it didn't really happen. Some are easy to answer, but most are asking you to sum up two years of life in a different culture with a few words, or maybe a funny anecdote, and that's not easy at all. 

But none are as difficult as the "how are you feeling" vein of questions. And the best I can do right now is say, "I don't know." Yes, I am happy to see my family and friends. Yes, it's nice to be able to drive, go to the beach, and not have to think through the vocabulary for every conversation before I go do something. Yes, it is fun to eat favorite foods and wear different clothes. Yes, there are many things that are nice and enjoyable about being back in the US. 

But... 

There is always a melancholy that comes with change, always something that you are giving up in the transaction, a chapter in your life for which you are trying to write the last sentence. And it is rarely easy and tidy. When we are confronted with others who genuinely care about us, and want to know about our experience, we can feel a pressure to neatly wrap up our life and put a bow on it. To make something orderly and presentable out of years of work, and growth, and experiences, and relationships, and learning, and changing, and emotions. Years of life. But as we all know, life isn't orderly and presentable. It's messy. We as people are messy. And trying to share a complicated season of your life is a bit like trying to gift-wrap a live octopus. 

So, no, I don't have the answers. No, I can't sum up two years in two sentences. And no, I can't even fully tell you how I feel about being back. And I think that's okay right now. 

My first Sunday back at my church was much anticipated and it was great to see friends after so long. But it was also profoundly difficult. Several times during Sunday School and the worship service I got so overwhelmed that I almost had to leave. And for the life of me I couldn't pinpoint why. And then the praise team sang a familiar song by Building 429: 

"Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside, Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive? I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find. All I know is I'm not home yet, This is not where I belong, Take this world and give me Jesus, This is not where I belong." 

Never had that song hit home (pardon the pun) so much before! I think that has come closer than anything to explaining my feelings right now. People keep asking about how I feel now that I am "home", and how I feel is that I'm not. I'm not home. Not yet. And that is a comforting thought, because if heaven is the home I'm headed to, then it's okay that Daytona Beach doesn't quite feel like home right now. As C.S. Lewis put it, "If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” 

What a home that will be! And what a great hope that is! It is a main comfort of the transient M life, that while we say farewell in this world, we have the promise of eternity with Jesus worshipping with believers from every tribe and nation. I hope that you have placed your faith in Christ and will spend eternity with the Lord, and if you do, I hope that one day I can introduce you to some of the incredibly faithful believers that I have had the privilege to meet and work with across Latin America for the last 2 years, and they can meet the people who prayed for and supported them from the US. 

I'm sure I'll eventually get comfortable again once the culture shock wears off, and the feelings of being strangely far from home will dim. But, I hope that I will carry with me the awareness that I'm still not home yet. This is not where I belong. 

If you haven't heard "Where I Belong" by Building 429 you can check out the video here! (If you are reading in email you'll have to follow the link to my blog site to watch.)

Feliz Cumpleaños Mama!

Today is a special day: Friday! Woohoo! Some weeks you really need a Friday. This was such a week.

But that's not all. Today is also.... my Mama's birthday! Yay!

However, I am not celebrating it today. Nope. I refuse. Her birthday has been postponed. At least until TOMORROW since that's when (Lord willing) her plane will land in Peru!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (Say it with me folks...) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

I can't wait! Although it still doesn't seem real. I'll believe it when I get to hug her!

But in the meantime, in honor of her celebrating many years of life (since I am a nice daughter I will not tell you how many, although I think she should brag because everyone guesses she is younger than she is) and since she will be here soon, I thought I'd share some photos and a bit about how awesome my mom is. I mean, sure, I'm sure your mom is awesome too. But mine is really really awesome. And I'm not just saying that because people tell me I take after her... ;-)

Anyway, she's a little bit crazy (nope, I'm not like her at all) but quite a bit of fun and a very caring person. She's a great godly example and sticks to her convictions even when it's not the easy thing to do. She's also a tremendous servant, the one who takes the jobs that no one else wants, and doesn't go looking for recognition. She's a hard worker and pretty creatively brilliant and artistic. She will figure out a way to do pretty much anything she puts her mind to - although she never did figure out how to stabilize the shelves that she built in the garage. (Seriously, these shelves should be studied as a modern engineering marvel of having every possible support and brace affixed while still maintaining their flexibility. Although, as she pointed out, they are still standing, AND they were strong enough to catch dad the time he fell through the garage ceiling from the attic.)

I also like to think I get my adventuring spirit from her. :-) She taught me to play in the rain and climb things and go exploring. And through (almost) 27 years of my life she's been a ready companion on many an escapade. She usually wasn't the parent complaining about me doing crazy things because they were potentially dangerous, she was only complaining because she wanted to come too. So I'm very excited that she is finally able to come visit Peru and we can have some more adventures on another continent!

Here are some photos over the years:

Golden Pavilion in Japan

Headsmashedinbuffalojump in Canada. 

Backpacking the Chattooga trail- 2005

Easter in Prague

Neuschwanstein castle in Germany

Haiti

Mission trip to Haiti after the earthquake

Preparing for the jungle of Peru? Heheheh. 

Stay tuned for the continuing adventures of Betty and Lyndsey in Peru. :-)

"Let me 'splain..."

"No, there is too much... Let me sum up."

I think Inigo Montoya had the right idea. Since my last recap we did a coverage on the island of Antigua, cranked out a bunch of work in Lima, and then I headed to the States for Della's wedding and a little bit of time with friends and family. I've been back in Lima for less than a week and we head out again in the wee hours of the morning for about 22 hours of travel to Suriname, where I will be for a month. We'll come back and immediately jump in to several other projects and coverages. This summer (winter- depending on which side of the line I'm on which day) looks like it will be flying by!

Please be in prayer for those of us traveling to Suriname. Health is a big issue for me, all this running around and changing climate has been rough on my immune system, so please pray for some superhuman immunity! Also, I appreciate extra prayer for this trip as, in addition to my regular media duties, I will be involved with childcare...in the Amazon. :-/

In lieu of more detailed descriptions, here are a few photos from recent adventures:

Making some important calls from Antigua.

Sunset over Antigua

Prayer time in Antigua

Steel drum band in Antigua

Church in Antigua

On the way to and from Antigua we flew through Miami. First Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich in a year!

With my favorite prayer warrior, Jeremy!

I might have eaten a little bit of Chickfila in the US. It was awesome.

So good to see Carolyn after more than a year!!!

The Gator Nation IS everywhere!

Cracker Barrel!

Helping Della get ready

Me and Dells. It was a beautiful day!

Wedding party

The 386 (+) crew

Cha-cha slide time. :-) 

Many airplanes and a vacuum miracle

How is it May already!? I guess the saying is true: time flies when you're...swamped with work and running in 12 directions at once. :-) But busy is good! Last month we traveled to both Panama City, Panama and Iquitos, Peru and had an excellent time on both coverages and were blessed immensely by the people we were with. If I were better at juggling life with keeping up with my blog, I would have told you all sorts of awesome stories of the people that we met and the crazy things we did and saw. But, we are about to travel yet again, so I will have to leave you with an IOU for travel stories. In fact, I'm about to travel a whole bunch in short succession, so I appreciate your prayers for stamina, health, and traveling mercies! 

Between today and mid-July I will only be in Lima about 17 full days. That means I have a great deal of projects and work to finish in a very small amount of time during periods of post- and pre-travel stress. But I really can't complain! This week we head to the Caribbean nation of Antigua and Barbuda for a coverage, and shortly after we return I'll be heading home to the good ol' U.S. of A. where I'll have the privilege of serving as Maid of Honor to my dear friend, Della, as she walks down the aisle and begins a new chapter in her life. Then a week after I return from the States, we head off to Suriname! Eeeee! Lots of excitement and craziness ahead! Please keep me in your prayers... especially for some extreme time management skillz. :-)

Take a minute and read this neat story about my friends, the Kunkels. They are precious people and I'm so excited for the feature story about their son, Steven, to be published. God has done awesome things in their lives and they give Him all the glory!

God ‘heals’ vacuum

ASUNCION, Paraguay – While at a pastors’ retreat with her husband, Iracema Kunkel called home to check on her son. What he said didn’t make her happy.

Kunkel’s son Steven, who is autistic, told her he forgot to plug the 110-volt vacuum cleaner into the step-down transformer while doing his chores. The new vacuum – a gift from a family friend – now was burned beyond use. And there were no replacement parts available for it in Paraguay, where the Kunkels serve as International Mission Board missionaries.

“But Mom,” Steven insisted, “I prayed kneeling down by the vacuum cleaner. God can heal it!”

“God does not heal vacuum cleaners!” Kunkel responded, frustrated.

When the Kunkels returned home, they plugged the vacuum into the transformer and turned it on. They got nothing but a strong burning smell.

The next morning during her devotional time, Kunkel read this verse: “But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice’” (Matthew 9:13, NIV).

She was reminded of all her own faults and realized she needed to forgive her son for his mistake.

Later, before calling an electrician, the Kunkels decided to try the vacuum cleaner one more time. To their surprise, it worked!

“At that moment, all the pieces came together,” Kunkel said. “God desires mercy, not sacrifice. And He cares and hears our prayers about everything, even damaged vacuum cleaners!”




You can read more stories here from the American Peoples Affinity.

Happy Anniversary to Us!

That's right. Today it has been officially ONE YEAR since we left the U.S., said goodbye to family and friends, and embarked upon a new adventure in Latin America.

One year ago today: airport send-off with daddy. 

I'm impressed that it's already April again, but to say that this year went by quickly wouldn't really be true. No, when I start thinking about the myriad of changes and challenges and new experiences that have been crammed into the last year it seems like a very long time. And when I think about how long it has been since I last saw my friends or hugged my parents...yes, then it seems very long indeed. It hasn't been an easy year, but it has been a blessed year.

In the last year I was on 19 flights, moved twice, added 7 more countries to my previous 20 visited, learned Spanish (ok, so not ALL of Spanish- lol), met a ton of new friends near and far, started a new job, ate a bunch of strange foods, took north of 10,000 photographs (the Mac "finder" window doesn't count higher than that), and, somewhere in all of that, I learned to love Latin America.

As I've said before, Peru or any Spanish-speaking country was never on my list of places I really wanted to go. But after a year of learning the language, living in the culture and being fortunate enough to travel quite a bit within the region, it has really grown on me. Every trip I learn just how much I didn't know about Latin America. I assumed that countries that shared a language would be quite similar, but I have been excited to see just how different and unique they are. I have also learned that they don't share as much of a language as it would appear on paper. Oy vey! One day I had to translate in Spanish (don't laugh!) between a Dominican and Peruvian because their vocabulary was too different on some words and they weren't understanding each other. That day I threw my hands up and asked how I was expected to learn this language when they couldn't even come to a consensus among the native-speakers! But regardless of which Spanish they speak, wherever we have gone we've met wonderful people and experienced beautiful cultures. I've been fascinated with the crazy animals (although Lima needs more llamas and I am still on a quest to see a sloth in the wild), the awesome handicrafts and goods, the delicious and new foods, the incredible variety of climates and scenery even just within Peru, and I've had the honor to worship alongside brothers and sisters in Christ all over the continent.

Lest I begin to sound like a tourism ad, we've seen the less fun side of Latin America too. Despite the continued development, poverty is still rampant in many areas and people around the region live in deplorable, dangerous conditions.

Violent crime and drugs threaten individuals and governments alike. (Random fact: Peru is the #1 exporter of cocaine globally, and recent estimates suggest the cocaine industry equals 17% of Peru's GDP.)  Millions and millions of people live in depressing and hopeless situations, but what is even more tragic is that they live trapped in spiritual darkness as well. Although Latin America has been highly evangelized, there are still places and subcultures that have yet to even be touched by the Gospel.

The exciting thing, however, is that the face of missions in Latin America is slowly beginning to change. National believers are beginning to catch a vision for the Great Commission. They are hearing the call to take the Good News to all peoples and nations and they are seeking out ways to be faithful servants. While many North American workers are still involved in "traditional" work with church planting in different people groups, the majority are transitioning to mobilizing rolls. They are now in the position of helping Latin believers understand how they fit into the Great Commission, then training them and facilitating them as they begin to go themselves to their neighbors and to the ends of the earth. The challenges facing Latins seeking to go to the mission field are great. Finances are usually one of the biggest road blocks, as well as difficulty obtaining visas in some places, and the need for training. However, there are so many places that Latin believers can serve more effectively than Anglos and these exciting opportunities to advance the Gospel are worth whatever difficulties may come with them. It does my heart good when I've been privileged to meet with those in Peru currently studying missions in hopes of going to their countrymen and across the globe. Most have already sacrificed a great deal for the work to which they are called and they are passionate about telling others about Christ. I can't wait to see what God will do with these lives that have been so willingly offered up to Him!

Although it's been a year I still try not to think back to the day we left the U.S. because the goodbyes are still too painful, even just as a memory. Yet it is encouraging and sobering to think that I am now closer to saying "hello" to them than I am to those goodbyes. We have only 9 months remaining of our time in Peru and with the busy summer we have planned I can only imagine that they will go even faster than the previous time. Of course, the converse of getting to go back to the people and places I left behind means that I will have to say another set of goodbyes, this time to Peru and a whole different group of cherished family. But for now I won't focus on the sad times past and future, now is the time to refocus on what I want the legacy of my time in Peru to be. It's time to finish well!

Please pray for Brittany and myself as we head into the last 9 months of our time of service, and for the rest of our team as this summer will involve a lot of travel and transition for every unit. Thank you for your faithful prayers!

Paraguay! Sugoi!

So... where was I? Paraguay? I should have written about it as soon as I returned. But you know how it is, at first you're playing catch up from traveling and are too tired, then you get back into the regular swing of work and forget. But yes, it was a great trip! I loved getting to know the very special family that we worked with there. We're working on a story about their autistic son Steven and the miracles God has worked in his life to bring him to a point where he is able to take the Gospel to Japan. He is such an impressive young man and a true testament to the dedication of his parents and the power of prayer.

This is Steven. Join me in praying for him while he serves in Japan!

I can't wait for the story to run!  God has done so much to weave all the details together that I can only imagine what else He is going to do in and through Steven and his story. I'd love to tell you all about it, but I don't want to spoil the story, so I'll just share a bit about the rest of the trip.

Port at Asuncion.

During this coverage we were in Asuncion, Paraguay, a small city in the middle of the South American continent. The weather felt like home: hot and humid. One afternoon it even poured rain and lightninged! (<--Wow that word looks really weird written out...)

RAIN!

What do you know about Paraguay? If you're like me...not much. I had to do some research, but thanks to all-knowing Wikipedia and my handy-dandy Insight Guide to South America I was able to fill in some gaps in my knowledge. So here is my condensed "highlights only" version. (And yes, the highlights are kind of long so skip down about 5 paragraphs if you don't want to learn some crazy things about Paraguay.) :

Paraguay is a landlocked country in South America sometimes called the "Heart of America" because of its location on the continent. Asuncion, the capitol, was founded in 1537, by Spanish conquistadors who had left the settlement of Buenos Aires, Argentina to go a'conquering up the Paraguay River. After battles with natives and food supply issues, the remaining settlers from B.A. evacuated to the safer and more lush outpost in Asuncion as well, and it then became the hub for exploration of the interior portions of the continent.

Me in front of the Presidential Palace

On May 14, 1811 Paraguay declared independence from the Spanish crown. Shortly thereafter, one of the new rulers, a civilian lawyer, José Francia, seized power (and you thought that reputation lawyers have was a recent one...) and in 1816 Congress named him "Supreme and Perpetual Dictator of Paraguay", or "el Supremo," for life (almost as impressive as Kim Il-Sung, the "Eternal President" of North Korea.) Worried about being annexed by Argentina or Brazil,  Francia closed the borders and didn't allow anyone in or out of the country for 24 years. He also banned Spaniards from marrying each other, decreed all dogs in the country killed and that no one could look at him in the streets, set up a secret police, kept a ledger of all the women he slept with, uprooted all the shrubs and trees along his riding route so no one could ambush him, and ordered executions of detractors carried out with a bayonet to save bullets. His iron-fisted rule left the country with accumulated wealth in the treasury, but also with a tradition of autocratic rule that would last almost uninterrupted until 1989. At his death, no Paraguayan priest was willing to say a mass, and a priest had to be imported from Argentina.

Our taxi guide looking over into the poor neighborhood behind the government buildings.  I walked over to take a picture and he decided he needed to come protect me. 

Francia's nephew, Carlos Antonio Lopez, was appointed to the leadership of the country following his uncle's death. Much like his uncle, everything was fine and dandy for the first few years until Lopez decided to go into the family business of dictatoring and took all the power. Fortunately he didn't rule with the same despotic tendencies as his uncle. Unfortunately, his son and successor, Francisco Solano Lopez, did. He made rash decisions that embroiled Paraguay in the Triple Alliance war with Brazil, Argentina, and Uruguay. In a cholera ravaged country, Solano Lopez ordered hundreds of executions and was eventually killed during the war either from injuries received in battle or by one of his own officers, depending on who you listen to. Regardless his dying words were "I die with my country" which was almost literally true. After the war,  half the estimated population of 525,000 were dead. Only 29,000 adult males survived. Paraguay was rebuilt mostly by women who resigned themselves to a polygamous society while the Catholic church pretended not to notice.

Poor neighborhood in Asuncion.

Between the fall of Solano Lopez in 1870 and the bloody Chaco War with Bolivia in 1932, Paraguay changed presidents 32 times, endured 2 presidential assassinations, 6 coups d'état, 2 successful revolutions, and 8 attempted revolutions. Paraguay won the Chaco War but the male population was once again devastated. A series of dictators ruled from then until 1954 when the son of a German brewer, Alfredo Stroessner, seized power in a coup d'état and ruled strictly for 35 years. He declared a "state of siege" soon after taking power so that he could suspend constitutional freedoms, and it was renewed every 90 days for the entire time he was in office (justified as a necessary step to protect against Communists), except when it was lifted for "elections." His regime was blamed for torture, kidnappings, and corruption and provided a haven for fleeing Nazis and narcotics smugglers, and in 1974 the country was accused by the UN of slavery and genocide because of their treatment of the Aché tribe of eastern Paraguay. The US maintained relations with Stroessner during the Cold War era because of his staunch anti-Communist stance, but the Carter and Reagan administrations began boycotting the country because of the human rights abuses. Although he did oversee several large hydroelectric and infrastructure programs that brought increased prosperity to the country, he was eventually ousted in a coup d'état by his closest confident, his daughter-in-law's father, General Andrés Rodriguez, in 1989. Stroessner was exiled to Brazil, and Rodriguez was officially elected president of Paraguay.

Some unflattering political graffiti by the presidential palace.

Rodriguez ended the state of emergency and most of Stroessner's repressive measures, allowed freedom of the press and oversaw a gradual transition to genuine democracy which included signing a new constitution that limited the president to a single 5-year term. There have been continuing issues, including an attempted coup by a general in 1996, but democracy seems to have a foothold in the country which elected a center-left president in 2008 after 60 years of continuous rule by a single conservative political party.

A little overwhelmed by that military-political history? Yeah, me too. So here's some other random info about Paraguay. The country is officially bilingual, speaking Spanish and Guarani, with only a very small portion of the population that speaks only Spanish. In rural areas it is more common for people to speak only Guarani. Many also speak Jopara, a type of Guarani mixed with Spanish. Guarani has a bunch of folk proverbs and jokes that give it a unique flair (and make less sense translated, but if you speak Spanish you can learn some here). Many ruins of Jesuit missions can be found across the country from their period of work in Paraguay from 1587-1767. The Chaco, the desolate, arid, and sparsely-populated region of the country, has attracted unusual immigrant communities for generations. The best known are the Mennonites who began arriving in 1927 and mostly speak German. Despite being a small minority they produce most of Paraguay's dairy products. More bizarrely, Friedrich Nietzsche's sister, Elisabeth, and her husband attempted to found a pure Aryan colony in 1886 but could not overcome the extreme living conditions of the Chaco.

Other ethnic groups have created small cultural pockets in Paraguay and manage to retain their language and culture. This played an important part in the story that is being done about Steven, since he was able to study the Japanese language and be discipled by a Japanese pastor and assist in the Japanese church, all in the heart of South America! Attending a bilingual church service isn't anything new to me, but attended one in Spanish and Japanese certainly was a new experience! The mix of cultures was remarkable. I had a great time watching the adorable kids play and using the few Japanese phrases I learned during our trip to Japan years ago. I never thought those would come in handy on a trip to Paraguay. Steven taught me a new word, "sugoi" which means "great" in Japanese. It's making my list of new favorite phrases. :-)

My favorite thing in Paraguay (aside from the wonderful people we met and the weather) was the handcrafts. They had so much neat stuff! And I definitely did my bit to help the Paraguayan economy by bringing home lots of souvenirs, especially the exquisite colorful lace pieces.

Handcrafted Nanduti lace. 

My new hand-tooled leather Bible cover.

Me with Steven and Cema.

Praying for Steven during his commissioning.

There was lots of awesomeness that happened during the few days we were able to be with Steven and his family, but one of the most exciting things had nothing to do with the story, Paraguay, etc. Nope. On February 18th my wonderful friend Della got engaged!

When we were silly freshmen in high school talking about our future husbands and getting married and all that fun stuff, never once did I imagine that I'd be staying up until the wee hours of the night in a hotel room in Paraguay to get to talk to her on the phone and hear about the proposal all these years later. Thanks to her sweet fiancé (so weird to say that...my best friend has a fiancé...woah!) he had kept me in the loop on the planning and had even let me be involved with arranging part of the proposal day.  It kills me to be so far away during these exciting life moments and the wedding planning, etc. but I am so thrilled that I'll at least be able to travel back to the states to be Della's maid of honor. I can't wait!
As Steven would say, "Sugoi!"