The Relinquished Life

Found this page from Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" convicting. What would it look like for you to fully relinquish your life, all of your life, to Christ? As Chambers writes, "Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?"

 The Relinquished Life

“I am crucified with Christ.”- Galatians 2:20

"No one is ever united with Jesus Christ until he is willing to relinquish not sin only, but his whole way of looking at things. To be born from above of the Spirit of God means that we must let go before we lay hold, and in the first stages it is the relinquishing of all pretence. What Our Lord wants us to present to Him is not goodness, nor honesty, nor endeavour, but real solid sin; that is all He can take from us. And what does He give in exchange for our sin? Real solid righteousness. But we must relinquish all pretence of being any thing, all claim of being worthy of God's consideration.

Then the Spirit of God will show us what further there is to relinquish. There will have to be the relinquishing of my claim to my right to myself in every phase. Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

There is always a sharp painful disillusionment to go through before we do relinquish. When a man really sees himself as the Lord sees him, it is not the abominable sins of the flesh that shock him, but the awful nature of the pride of his own heart against Jesus Christ. When he sees himself in the light of the Lord, the shame and the horror and the desperate conviction come home.

If you are up against the question of relinquishing, go through the crisis, relinquish all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you."

TWENTY TWELVE!

Here's a little more of what New Year's Eve in Lima looked like. I toasted with...what else...Dr. Pepper! Decided to craft some ridiculous headgear for skyping in the new year in a few different time zones. Also note that I am wearing a tank top with gold stripes because A) it's the only thing sparkly that I own in Lima, and B)...it was hot. Remember, it's summer here! Got up into the 80s today, and no A/C. 

You can also enjoy this video taste of the ridiculous unregulated fireworks going on across the city at all hours of the night. Keep in mind that you have to magnify the sound by a factor of about 20. And compared to Christmas eve, this was pretty tame:

I also really liked the Decemeber 31st entry in "My Utmost for His Highest," so I thought I would share.

"Security from Yesterday: "God requires that which is past." At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise from remembering the yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God's grace is apt to be checked by the memory of yesterday's sins and blunders.  But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them in order to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual culture for the future. God reminds us of the past lest we get into a shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow: "For the Lord will go before you." This is a gracious revelation, that God will garrison where we have failed to. He will watch lest things trip us up again into like failure, as they assuredly would do if He were not our reward. God's hand reaches back to the past and makes a clearing-house for conscience.

Security for Today. "For ye shall not go out with haste." As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, unremembering delight, nor with the flight of impulsive thoughtlessness, but with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ. Leave the irreparable past in His hands, and step out into the irresistible future with Him." - Oswald Chambers


Bring it on, 2012! The God of Israel will go before us.

525,600 Minutes

It's something I've done pretty much every year since I was a kid, and maybe you do it to? At New Year's Eve I stop and reflect on the past year. I like to sit down and list out in my journal all the major events, or the things that stand out to me.  I think it's exceptionally interesting to look at a year in its entirety, see where it began, and where it ended, and to think of all the life that happened in just 525,600 minutes. Of course the small events of my life seem dwarfed when we look at the scale of world events in 2011:

 Osama bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi, and Kim Jong Il are all dead. The space shuttle made its final flight. The middle east saw the upheaval of the "Arab Spring" uprisings. The horn of Africa suffered a devastating famine. Japan weathered the sudden tragedy of the major earthquake and tsunami and resulting nuclear disaster. Earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, tornadoes, flooding and forest fires seemed to touch every corner of the globe. Europe faced fiscal crisis while the U.S. struggled through its own economic woes and related protests. The world population surpassed 7 billion. U.S. troops finally left Iraq. Planes crashed, wars were fought, terrorists attacked, people murdered. 

In all, the world continued very much as it has since man first sinned. And those are the events by which the rest of the world will measure 2011. Of course we all have our own methods of weighing and measuring a year. What did I accomplish that I'm proud of? Did I achieve any goals? What were my favorite moments? What was fun? What was crazy and unexpected? What was difficult? Did I end up where I thought I would?

2011 was certainly not a dull year! Lots of change, lots of learning, lots of stretching, and some struggle along the way. I added Costa Rica, Peru, Chile, Argentina, and Venezuela to my "Countries I've Visited" list. Learned a new language, made dozens of new friends who are scattered around the world, developed my abilities as a photographer, tried scuba diving, lazed on a Costa Rican beach, experienced a chilean rodeo, and made a new home in Lima. And we heard, saw, and shared lots of stories about how God is moving in Latin America. Lots of lots of blessings in 2011 for which to praise the Lord! 

Certainly there were sad and difficult parts of the year too, and I think it's important to reflect on those and praise the Lord for them as well. We appreciate the good times more when we have tasted of the bad. But also, looking back at the challenges that 2011 brought reminds me of the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father. He was there just as real and present in the tearful farewells and lonely moments as He was in times of rejoicing and laughing with friends. His faithfulness has never been contingent upon my circumstances. 

Of course, maybe boiling a year down to major events really isn't the best way to evaluate it. As I've been pondering, I'll admit I've had "Seasons of Love" stuck in my head from Rent. It asks a good question, "How do we measure a year?" And even more importantly, "How do we measure a life?"

Seasons of Love-

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes,

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, In cups of coffee

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love?How about love? 

Measure in love. Seasons of love.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned, Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned, Or the way that she died

It's time now to sing out, Tho' the story never ends

Let's celebrate Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love.

So how do we measure it? 525,600 minutes? That's what we are handed every January 1st. (Of course this year will be fewer since the Mayan's have declared the world is ending, so you better really get busy!) It's a lot of minutes. But in the grand scheme of things, it's less than a breath, and we're not promised a single one of them. The song suggests that we measure it in love. It may be a secular song, but I have to say I don't think they are far off. What matters more than the goals we checked off, or the experiences collected, is how we lived the majority of minutes when nothing exceptional was happening at all. How did we love God, and how did we love others? How did we leverage the 525,600 minutes we were entrusted with to glorify God and share Him with the people around us? 

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 reminds us that, "Not all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." 

How our years, and ultimately our lives, will be measured is by whether we accepted the gift of salvation that is available to all men through Jesus's sacrificial death, and then, what we do with the new life we have in Christ after that. If I died today, how would my life measure up? How would yours?

Of course the really great thing about New Year's is that our time of reflection on the year past is also the time we consider the year to come. We evaluate our lives,  mull over changes to be made, and consider what we want to accomplish. As we go about the process of setting goals and making changes this year, let us be mindful of what really matters. Sure we can try to eat healthy, exercise, floss, drink more water, spend less time on facebook. Those are all good things, and could very well be honoring to God, but no matter what your resolutions are this year, remember to make your personal relationship with Christ your top priority. Unfortunately it's a lesson that I constantly struggle with. As Oswald Chambers writes, "There is only one relationship that matters, and that is your personal relationship to a personal Redeemer and Lord. Let everything else go, but maintain that at all costs, and God will fulfill His purpose through our life. One individual life may be of priceless value to God's purposes, and yours may be that life." 

If you haven't put your trust in Jesus, I can think of no better way to begin a new year than with a new life in Christ. And if you have a personal relationship with Christ, I pray you'll use the new year to share the Good News with those around you and show His love in the way you live. 

May you be blessed abundantly in 2012 and may God be glorified in the year to come!

Happy New Year! 

Internet Guilt

 It has been a momentous couple of weeks. We started work, became legal Peruvian residents, and most amazing of all...we got INTERNET. 

I never considered myself a technology junkie. We didn't have a DVD player until I left for college, and when I graduated in 2008 (and for a year or so after that) my mother was still clinging to dial-up internet. In the states I had a 6-year-old laptop, a cell-phone that was falling apart, and I checked my email and Facebook once or twice a day (if I remembered). I never even wanted a smartphone... Enter Peru. 

Communication technology is great, but it doesn't seem all that important in a busy American life where you see most of the people you care about frequently, and it's hard to find enough time just to call a friend on the phone. We take it for granted. When you're 3000 miles away from your loved ones, it suddenly takes on a paramount importance. The internet feels more like a lifeline than a convenient tool. Of course, when you work on a communications team, and you work from home, it's also a very important requirement to do your job. Peru has this silly (read: so logical maybe America should try it) rule about not letting you sign contracts with a com company for them to install internet, phone, or cable until you're actually a legal resident of the country. So, since we left Costa Rica more than two months ago we have not had actual internet. We did get iPhones with international calling, so we haven't been completely out of touch with the world. And, of course, there's always Starbucks! But packing up all of your stuff to camp in Starbucks for a few hours, and praying the signal is strong enough to actually connect, gets old pretty fast. So last week, when we got the call that we could go to immigration and complete the process of getting our residency cards we could only think of one thing...INTERNET! 

We interrupt this story for a stroll down memory lane:

I am thankful that I am old enough, and have lived overseas before, so that the last couple of months without internet really didn't seem like too much of a strain. I was thinking back to the first time I lived in France in early 2005. Only 6 years ago and yet technology has changed so much. Facebook was still just something for select universities, Skype was mostly unknown, and blogs weren't popular with the average Joe. The bizarre French internet in my apartment (ethernet only) wouldn't connect to my Mac, so my only internet access in the house came from my lovely roommate Lori who would let me check my emails when I needed to. 

Dinner with Lori in our apartment in the Marais

Other than that I had to go set up in the drafty creaky library of Reid Hall and was limited to emails and AOL Instant Messenger. I talked to my parents on the phone on Sunday afternoons: we used international calling cards. (Unrelated, but I also didn't own a digital camera. The film developing costs were almost as much as the semester abroad!) 

The courtyard of Reid Hall in the snow. 

Things had progressed when I moved back to Paris in late 2007. Then I had WiFi in my apartment and an internet phone that enabled me to call the states from time to time. Facebook and blogs were mainstream (you can read mine from Paris here), but Skype still required an attached webcam and the connection was pretty worthless. It was still mostly emails and AIM to stay in touch, but at least I could watch foxnews.com videos in the mornings to keep up on things. 

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog:

Claro workers running wires across the street from the top of our building.

Like most things, the process to get internet installed seemed more convoluted than it needed to be, but all in all I was surprised by the efficacy of the company, and by Tuesday evening I was browsing the web from the comfort of my finely appointed bedroom/office. After jumping on my bed and dancing around (shhh don't tell the Baptists) I settled down to catch up on my interneting. Reading blogs of friends serving around the world I began to feel pretty selfish. They serve in places where they don't have real beds, they pay $12 for cereal bars, can't wear blue jeans, only get mail when they travel to a neighboring country, and often have to boil water just to bathe. I read about the places and cultures they work in and I start to feel guilty that I have been called to serve in a fairly modernized city in a pretty safe country with more comforts of home than I could have hoped for. The biggest inconveniences this week have been dealing with the hassles of coordinating internet installation and waking up to a team of plumbers drilling into my walls and a guy installing lovely new curtains in our spacious three-bedroom apartment. Oh, and the grocery store was out of the hot dogs I like. Don't get me wrong, life in a foreign culture and language thousands of miles from home isn't easy no matter where you are or what you're doing. But so soon I forget how good I have it here, especially when it comes to creature comforts. However, I remember something that was said in training, about not being envious or feeling guilty if you are called to serve in a "comfortable" place. It reminds me of what Oswald Chambers writes:

"Abraham did not choose the sacrifice. Always guard against self-chosen service for God; self-sacrifice may be a disease. If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him. If the providential order of God for you is a hard time of difficulty, go through with it, but never choose the scene of your martyrdom. [...] God is working for His highest ends until His purpose and man's purpose become one." 

I don't have to feel guilty that I am serving where I am, but it is good not to take for granted the blessings we have. And it's good to remember others elsewhere that need our prayers and encouragement. I'd love to link you to their blogs, but for security it's best if I don't, so check out this digest of blogs of others serving around the world. Also take a minute to watch this great video about the price that many have paid and the continuing need for work among unreached peoples: Don't Drop the Cross

Will You Go Out Without Knowing?

I've been thinking a lot about one of my favorite entries in "My Utmost for His Highest" this week, so I thought I'd share:

"He went out, not knowing whither he went." - Hebrews 11:8

"Have you been 'out' in this way? If so, there is no logical statement possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question- 'What do you expect to do?' You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doig. Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder- you do not know what God is going to do next. Each morning you wake it is to be a 'going out,' building in confidence on God. 'Take no thought for your life, ...nor for your body'- take no thought for the things for which you did take thought before you 'went out.'

"Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you go out in surrender to Him until you are not surprised at atom at anything He does?

"Suppose God is the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him- what an impertinence worry is! Let the attitude of the life be a continual 'going out' in dependence upon God, and your life will have an ineffable charm about it which is a satisfaction to Jesus. You have to learn to go out of convictions, out of creeds, out of experiences, until so far as your faith is concerned, there is nothing between yourself and God."

No matter how many times I've read through this book, I continue to be challenged by Oswald Chamber's writing. My favorite line in this entry (January 2nd) is, "God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is." I wrote that on a post-it and tapped it above my desk at home a couple years ago when I was in a difficult season and really struggling with waiting on God and trying to understand His will. I was desperate for God to open doors, reveal His will, show me the purpose of that season and where He was leading. He didn't, not then, anyway. Instead, He showed me Himself. He brought me into a better understanding of Who He is and into a closer fellowship with Him than I had ever known. <--When I reread that sentence, it sounds so simple, and I don't want to give the wrong impression, because it wasn't. Maybe it should have been, but for me it was a struggle. A real battle to get my heart and mind to be content in Christ, a real battle to trust. It was a lonely frustrating season, but I am so thankful for the byproducts of it. I came across a Beth Moore quote during that time that sums it up so perfectly:

"Solitude is not so much the place we find the answers as the place we decide if we're going on, -possibly alone- without them. Many of us will. Why? Because the privilege of wrestling with such a holy and majestic God still beats the numbness and pitiful mediocrity of life otherwise. Sometimes we don't realize how real He is until we've experienced the awesomeness of His answerless presence. He knows that what we crave far more than explanations is the unshakable conviction that He is utterly and supremely God."

I didn't know where God was leading in that difficult period, and as much as I fought it, I eventually learned to praise Him for teaching me to rest in His "answerless presence." I wish that was a lesson that could be learned simply once and for all, but from time to time I still find myself beginning to worry, beginning to question. Wanting to know what the rest of His plan looks like. Starting to panic because I don't have it figured out. So at those times I try to stop and reflect on His faithfulness and remember the peace that comes from simply abiding in Him. This was one of my grandpa's favorite hymns and one of mine too:

"I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"

I don't know about tomorrow;

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine

For its skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,

For I know what Jesus said.

And today I'll walk beside Him,

For He knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know Who holds tomorrow

And I know Who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter

As the golden stairs I climb;

Every burden's getting lighter,

Every cloud is silver-lined.

There the sun is always shining,

There no tear will dim the eye;

At the ending of the rainbow

Where the mountains touch the sky.

I don't know about tomorrow;

It may bring me poverty.

But the one who feeds the sparrow,

Is the one who stands by me.

And the path that is my portion

May be through the flame or flood;

But His presence goes before me

And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know Who holds tomorrow

And I know Who holds my hand.

Risky Business

Groundhog Day was last week and apparently Phil has decided it’ll be an early spring.  I don’t think Virginia got the message because it snowed again last night. Not much, just a thin dusting and I bet it’ll be mostly gone by lunch. Normally I’m not all that concerned about when spring is supposed to begin because in Florida it’s really all the same.  But here, in the frozen north, spring can’t come soon enough!  How is Virginia, you ask? Cold. Virginia is cold.  And often wet.  And so far, I’m not impressed.  But Virginia still has 43 days to make it up to me.  We’ll see.

 This was from the last blizzard, and not Virginia, but it made me laugh.

A couple weeks ago was an important anniversary: the 25^th commemoration of the day the world was graced with Della Turner’s presence.  I think she and her awesomeness deserve a shout-out. 

She’s pretty stellar.

  It was also the 25^th anniversary of the Challenger disaster, so as I read the text of Reagan’s speech that day, this portion stood out:

“I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave.” 

Most of us will never have the opportunity to go to space.  Most of us will never risk our lives mapping uncharted regions of the planet, or climbing an untouched mountain.  We won’t have a hand in expanding man’s physical horizons. But we will all have the option of expanding our own horizons, of taking a risk.  Yet, when those challenges arise, many of us will walk away. We let the fear of change, potential loss, failure, or even death dissuade us from the venture.  As Reagan explained, when you take risks, sometimes painful things happen.  That’s true.  If you strap yourself to 1.6 million pounds of propellant and try to launch yourself into orbit, there’s a chance you’ll lose your life in the process. But here’s the larger truth: painful things happen. Period. Painful things happen to people living quiet simple lives in suburban USA just the same as they happen to astronauts exploring space…or missionaries taking the Gospel to a closed and hostile country.  No one is immune.  Cancer, car accidents, natural disasters… even terrorist attacks: they can happen any time, anywhere.  Yes there are certain inherent risks to everything we do,  but usually what we allow to create fear and keep us from acting are the perceived risks.

That becomes a problem when it comes to Christianity.  In America we don’t sense a great deal of risk attached to following Christ because it does not necessarily cost us much. We have this idea that God wants to keep us safe and comfortable, but David Platt puts it this way in Radical (Great book. Read it. Now!): 

“We say things such as, ‘The safest place to be is in the center of God’s will.’ We think, if it’s dangerous, God must not be in it. If it’s risky, if it’s unsafe, if it’s costly, it must not be God’s will. But what if these factors are actually the criteria by which we determine something is God’s will? What if we began to look at the design of God as the most dangerous option before us? What if the center of God’s will is in reality the most unsafe place for us to be?”

Mark Batterson hits the nail on the head when he asks, “When did we start believing that God wants to send us to safe places to do easy things?” That’s not what we see modeled in the New Testament. As one of our instructors here in training keeps pointing out, the most normal place for Christians to be in the New Testament is in prison. And in many places around the world that is still the case. Following Christ is risky.  It always has been, it always will be.  And I’d go as far to say that it always should be, because Christianity that costs nothing produces the same. Nothing. And we KNOW that is not God’s will.  Refusing to take risks when God has called you to them means you are actually taking a much greater risk: being disobedient to Christ.  You are also risking missing out on what God is doing and missing out on His blessings. “We all want adventure, faith, miracles, and a deep knowledge of Christ, but you can’t have those things without letting go of safety, security, comfort, and control. You have to choose between safety and bravery. The bottom line is this: God’s will in a fallen world is dangerous. (Batterson)”

So yes, following Christ can be dangerous, but as we’ve already established, being alive is dangerous.  So doesn’t it make sense to go ahead and spend your life risking it all for the cause of the Gospel?

I’m sure I’ll ramble on more on this topic at a later date because it gets me fired up, so let's just call this "Part 1."  I leave you with an entry from one of my favorite books My Utmost for His Highest. (I love me some Oswald Chambers. And check it out, they have it in Spanish!) :

“Supposing God tells you to do something which is an enormous test to your common sense, what are you going to do? Hang back? If you get into the habit of doing a thing in the physical domain, you will do it every time until you break the habit determinedly; and the same is true spiritually. Again and again you will get up to what Jesus Christ wants, and every time you will turn back when it comes to the point, until you abandon resolutely. ‘Yes but- supposing I do obey God in this matter, what about…?’ ‘Yes I will obey God if He will let me use my common sense, but don’t ask me to take a step in the dark.’

            Jesus Christ demands of the man who trusts Him the same reckless sporting spirit that the natural man exhibits. If a man is going to do anything worthwhile, there are times when he has to risk everything on his leap, and in the spiritual domain Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold by common sense and leap into what He says, and immediately you do, you find that what He says fits on as solidly as common sense.

 At the bar of common sense Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad; but bring them to the bar of faith, and you begin to find with awestruck spirit that they are the words of God. Trust entirely in God, and when He brings you to the venture, see that you take it. We act like pagans in a crisis, only one out of a crowd is daring enough to bank his faith on the character of God.”